Youre always late. Why cant you ever be neat? You bounced another check, whats wrong with you It seems that whether we are dealing with children, parents, siblings, coworkers or employees, there is so much that needs improvement, that we cant help but comment. In fact, these lines slip out of our mouths so easily, that often we dont even know we are saying them! Of course, we only say them in the hope of influencing behavior and affecting change Yet they never seem to work. For some strange reason, not only dont these comments cause people to improve, they seem to backfire.

In this Shmuz we are brought to focus on the concept that, not only is criticism counterproductive, it actually eats away at the root of all successful relationships- that sense of trust and approval that we humans so crave.